We have quite an assortment: cardinals, juncos, sparrows, redpolls, nuthatches, chickadees, finches,woodpeckers, and the blue jays, who like to push aside the smaller birds so that they can grab an easy meal.
Birds are such delicate creatures and appear so vulnerable, yet somehow they survive these bitter temperatures and prolonged winter storms.
They are plump and beautifully attired, and do not seem to have a care in the world!
Watching them, I am often reminded of Matthew 6:26.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Did you catch that last line?
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Worry. Anxiety. Fear.
How large these adversaries of the soul loom in my life!
I have heard it said that stress introduces one to himself. I think that is true.
So I have had to face the fact that when I am in deep distress, what rises to the top is anxiety and fear.
God has used my present trial of doing battle with cancer, to drive home the fact that I need to address the stronghold that fear and anxiety have in my life.
I have done some soul searching to get to the bottom of what drives me to fear instead of faith when my circumstances overwhelm me or are beyond my control.
As I have reflected and prayed for insight, it has become clear to me that fear has always been my first refuge.
As a young girl, I taught myself to flee the difficult circumstances in my home life by running to and living a shelter of fear.
Blanketing myself in fear and anxiety have been my default setting for most of my life.
But living in fear itself is an ineffective fortress of consolation.
I have been thinking much about the disciples that day on the lake, when they were in the boat with Jesus and a violent storm overtook them.
Their first response is to freak out in fear! And then, they look for help.
They look for the Master.
He is not freaking out. In fact He is asleep.
He is so exhausted from preaching and teaching and healing and feeding the crowds that day, that he is in a very deep sleep.
So the disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord save us! We're going to drown!"
Jesus replied," You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"
Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. (Matt. 8:24-26)
Such is the power of the God-Man.
With a word of rebuke the wind and the waves calmed right down.
"You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"
These words have challenged me.
Honestly, I could give a million reasons why I am afraid, but that is really not the point.
The question is, where is my faith?
Is my faith strong enough to sustain me in my trials and difficulties?
And if not, why not?
Again, back to the lake.
The disciples are in the boat which has drifted a good distance from the shore.
After retreating for a time to pray, Jesus walks out onto the lake to catch up with his disciples.
The God -Man can do that.
The disciples, when they get a glimpse of him walking out towards them, again, freak out!
When Peter gets his mind around the fact that it is Jesus coming towards him, and not a ghost, he reckons himself strong enough in spirit of get out of the boat and meet Jesus on the water.
But as soon as Peter TAKES HIS EYES OFF JESUS and looks at the wind, he starts to sink.
Then Jesus reaches out his hand, and catches him.
I am Peter on the water, and when I look at the storm that is threatening me I first run to fear, and then to faith because I look at the storm and not the Savior.
I am always astounded by the love and care and patience Jesus had with his disciples, who later on became lion hearted saints.
He calls those of us who have been humbled by His witness and have 'repented and believe" in Him, saints as well.
In fact, he calls us many things.
His sheep. His children. His beloved. His treasured possession.
Clearly, this is a strong lesson the Lord has for me on this journey of affliction.
He does not want me to be afraid. Or to worry. Or to focus on my circumstances.
He is my refuge and my strength.
Oh for continued grace to live by faith, and not fear!
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Is. 26:3
